Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
