What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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