I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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