NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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