My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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