Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
