Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
