Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
