I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It's official drugs can't kill me
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
