ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
