If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
