I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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