Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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