Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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