I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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