Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
