operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
