How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
