Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
