Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
