I heard we made out
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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