Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize