Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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