sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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