If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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