Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
