oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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