Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
