i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
