i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
