im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
