I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
