dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
This is my gift to your gina
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
