drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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