I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
