I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
