you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
