This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
