I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
