Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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