Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
