the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
