im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
