LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I need water and some morals
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
