I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
