I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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