Are we in a gay sports bar?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
