Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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