Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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