Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
