I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
