I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Even my vagina gasped.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
