True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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