Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I wear drunk well.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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