I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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