I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
