you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
