Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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