I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
