I think i peed on brittanys purse
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
